You Can't Make This Shit Up!

A South Carolina inmate is suing Michael Vick for "63,000,000,000.00 Billion dollars," which he would like backed by silver and gold and delivered via UPS to the prison. Why, you say? Because, as inmate Jonathan Riches claims, Vick stole Riches' identity and dogs, sold the dogs on eBay and used the money to buy missiles from Iran. Seriously. He also alleges (because in Amuricuh, you're innocent until proven guilty) that Vick "plead alliengence to Al-qaeda" and subjected Riches "to microwave testing." In his prayer for relief (as it is called - where the plaintiff actually asks for the desired result of the suit), Riches states, "Michael Vick has to stop physically hurting my feelings and dashing my hopes." Not sure how one physically hurts one's feelings...

Apparently, this isn't the first time Jonathan Riches has filed a wacky lawsuit. If you click the link entitled "You be the judge" (at the end of the 2nd paragraph), there is a copy of the 57-page docket (the official register of proceedings in a legal action) composed almost entirely of the list of defendants. These 56 pages of defendants include such varied individuals and entities as Jessica Alba, Jennifer Lopez and Sandra Bullock (I gotta admit, he's got pretty good taste) to Wiccan Worship, WKRP in Cincinnati, Nostradamus (bet he didn't see this one coming), Holy Grail and Huggies. I think my personal favorite is Zeus. Aye caramba.